Jump the Shark Week 3: Tasty Time Machine
It is harder to come up with “The New Cupcake” than one would think.
For one thing, it seems like freaking everything has already been “the new cupcake”. So when tackling this project we, as we do every time we start to write a recipe, began by making a sketch:
We know these things are all either over, our about to be over. (There’s no point in getting comfortable, eclairs. We all know that in a few months everyone will stop talking about you, then come January someone will resurrect your basic concept as twee little cream puffs, some joint will offer a Valentine’s gift box full of petit little puffs in flavors like “Yuzu Cacao Nib” and “Nepalese Ginger Bee Pollen”, and it’ll make a great slideshow on NYMag.com.)
Now that that part is out of the way, we move on from what we know to what we don’t know, which is what the “new cupcake” will be. It’s like catching lighting in a bottle, but we can certainly pour through our extensive recipe collection and make some guesses:
It’s a solid start.
After Cakudding™ and Wafflecake™, we just can’t bring ourselves to even attempt mashing up anything else. We pray that the next person who tries to mate some dessert with a doughnut doesn’t kill us all.
No, to move desserts forward, to leap over sharks and into the future, we must look around us to see what the common man is always talking about.
And what everyone is talking about, my friends, is the past.
We have remade Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. We also remade Red Dawn. And Footloose. And Tron, Conan, The Karate Kid, Clash of the Titans. Robocop, and more. They’re going to remake Top Gun.
We are taking Facebook quizzes to find out “What 80s Song Is your Theme Song.” (my theme song is “Danger Zone.” Obviously)
I have spent at least 2 hours this week watching old instant coffee commercials on YouTube. Yesterday, I spent far more time than I’d like to admit doing exhaustive research on the show “Mr. Belvedere”, solely because I saw a sweater vest in TJ Maxx I thought Matt would like.
To move forward, sometimes we need to move backwards. Which means for this week’s Jump the Shark spectacular, we had to spend a solid two days screwing around on Facebook, which led us to a major breakthrough in the world of desserts:
There you have it, folks: a base of gelled housemade Ecto Cooler, then topped with a light lemon panna cotta to bring is up to the levels of fancy you’ve come to expect in adulthood. Everything you loved about your childhood in a portable cup. Available right this very second at 9009 5th Avenue in Brooklyn, this weekend only. Come experience the sensation of the late 1980’s jiggling in your mouth.