Jump the Shark Week 5: Bacon
If there’s one thing we’ve learned over the past five years of food trend hysteria, is that cupcakes/Cronuts/Crack Pie/whatever come nowhere near the hysteria that is induced by bacon. I present evidence:
See? You name something, there’s a bacon version. There’s bacon lip balm, bacon toothpastes, and bacon festivals. A few weeks ago, we were in the Bacon & Beer Classic at Citifield, where our Maltz brownie (that’s bourbon and bacon) won best dish of the entire event. Tomorrow, we’ll be bringing the same down to Webster Hall for:
I don’t care if bacon is overdone- it is still freaking delicious. And we will not stop cooking with it, no matter how “2011” it might seem.
But this isn’t about just slapping bacon on top of stuff — we already do that. There’s a chapter in our cookbook about it. We needed to do some word association to get us to the next big bacon thing.
Bacon —-> Breakfast —-> Doughnuts —-> Cops —-> Car Chase —-> Gene Hackman —-> Superman —-> Tights —-> Michael Buble —-> CANADA
Jump the Shark Weekend Presents The Oh! Canada!: Crown Royal Maple custard bread pudding with caramelized bacon, roasted apple, Tim Horton’s doughnut crumble, and honey whiskey glaze.
These will be available this weekend in limited quantities ONLY at our Bay Ridge shop this weekend, located at 9009 5th Avenue. While supplies last!
Let’s face it- August is slow and lazy. I have had my kids home with me for six weeks and I feel like I want to die. It’s a miracle I can even muster the strength to put on pants and get out of the house on any given day.
Or maybe you’re the type of person who needs to get out every single weekend and enjoy the last remaining shreds of summer at your friends pool or beach club. I suppose that’s nice, too.
Anyhow, to the point, we’re celebrating the last few shreds of summer by putting just about everything in our shop on sale. We want you to come in and hang out with us for a bit, and enjoy the last of our summertime flavors before we switch over to the fall menu come September. Or, we want you to come in and grab a bunch of stuff to bring to your friends pool/beach club and just LEAVE US, sitting around working while you’re splashing around in the surf, sipping margaritas, listening to Van Halen. Seriously, totally cool with that (and seriously, you should bring something to make sure you keep that pool invite for next year. Plan ahead!)
These specials are in-store only, so you’ll have to visit us at 9009 5th Avenue Thursday-Saturday from 10-8, or Sunday from 10-5.
All Cupcakes/Brownies/Whoopie Pies: 2 for $5
All Cookies: 3 for $5
Come down and spend a “staycation” day in Bay Ridge! We can’t wait to see you!
Jump the Shark Week 4: Ice Cream Goes to Eleven
I’m a summer baby. On my birthday every August 1st, I always got the same thing: a Carvel ice cream cake. I ate this in the only acceptable way: split the layers down the middle, devour the crunchies, eat the chocolate layer, then the vanilla, then throw out the rest. The only thing that matters is the crunchies, so really everything after that is downhill.
I don’t know if it’s that times have changed, or that I’ve just become a more sophisticated lady with very refined tastes, but on my bithday last week, Carvel cake wasn’t doing it. It seemed so flat, so pedestrian. I’m 34 years old, a D-list celebrity chef, author, raconteur, and international culinary icon to at least 6 or 7 people.
There’s one thing I’ve learned eating my way through the culinary capital of the world- everything tastes better when it’s made by hand in small batches, with only the most sophisticated of ingredients, in flavors that are so underground I haven’t even heard of them yet (though I won’t admit it). And if there’s any sort of void in the artisan food market, its need to be corrected immediately.
This is Brooklyn after all.
Presenting our newest product:
This weekend, you can experience our small batch crunchies on our secret, off-menu ice cream sandwiches. Just pick a cookie from the counter, we’ll add a big scoop of vanilla bean ice cream, then roll it in the crunchie of your choice. Or better yet, pick up a package to carry in your purse or masculine satchel, so that when the ice cream man comes down your block, you’ll be able to have an intimate curated food experience for one, while the hoi polloi around you gawks at you with envy.
Each sack of crunchies comes in a hand tied bag, using locally sourced twine. We are hoping to have these in fine ice cream parlors and gourmet shops in the next several weeks. They are also available for mail order, and would make a lovely addition to any Brooklyn-centric gift basket (the holidays are only a few months away!).
We will also be donating $1 of each bag sold to Frankie’s Mission to help families who support families battling childhood cancer. Because cancer can seriously go f*** itself. (<——-that part is not satire)
Jump the Shark Week 3: Tasty Time Machine
It is harder to come up with “The New Cupcake” than one would think.
For one thing, it seems like freaking everything has already been “the new cupcake”. So when tackling this project we, as we do every time we start to write a recipe, began by making a sketch:
We know these things are all either over, our about to be over. (There’s no point in getting comfortable, eclairs. We all know that in a few months everyone will stop talking about you, then come January someone will resurrect your basic concept as twee little cream puffs, some joint will offer a Valentine’s gift box full of petit little puffs in flavors like “Yuzu Cacao Nib” and “Nepalese Ginger Bee Pollen”, and it’ll make a great slideshow on NYMag.com.)
Now that that part is out of the way, we move on from what we know to what we don’t know, which is what the “new cupcake” will be. It’s like catching lighting in a bottle, but we can certainly pour through our extensive recipe collection and make some guesses:
It’s a solid start.
After Cakudding™ and Wafflecake™, we just can’t bring ourselves to even attempt mashing up anything else. We pray that the next person who tries to mate some dessert with a doughnut doesn’t kill us all.
No, to move desserts forward, to leap over sharks and into the future, we must look around us to see what the common man is always talking about.
And what everyone is talking about, my friends, is the past.
We have remade Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. We also remade Red Dawn. And Footloose. And Tron, Conan, The Karate Kid, Clash of the Titans. Robocop, and more. They’re going to remake Top Gun.
We are taking Facebook quizzes to find out “What 80s Song Is your Theme Song.” (my theme song is “Danger Zone.” Obviously)
I have spent at least 2 hours this week watching old instant coffee commercials on YouTube. Yesterday, I spent far more time than I’d like to admit doing exhaustive research on the show “Mr. Belvedere”, solely because I saw a sweater vest in TJ Maxx I thought Matt would like.
To move forward, sometimes we need to move backwards. Which means for this week’s Jump the Shark spectacular, we had to spend a solid two days screwing around on Facebook, which led us to a major breakthrough in the world of desserts:
There you have it, folks: a base of gelled housemade Ecto Cooler, then topped with a light lemon panna cotta to bring is up to the levels of fancy you’ve come to expect in adulthood. Everything you loved about your childhood in a portable cup. Available right this very second at 9009 5th Avenue in Brooklyn, this weekend only. Come experience the sensation of the late 1980’s jiggling in your mouth.
This summer we’re offering a small number of baking classes at our shop, opening enrollment to a small group of students who want to spend their Friday nights listening to us talk and eating tons of delicious baked goods. So far, we’ve welcomed students from Queens, Connecticut, and even San Francisco! Classes have been a mixture of chef demo, hands on practice, lots of Q&A, and eating. Everyone gets to take a little something home, and gets 10% off all baked goods purchased that night.
We’ve now completed the schedule and have opened it up to ordering. Two more units of our much-requested Knife Skills and Pies Ahoy classes have been added, as well as a Pastry 101 class, and one about all things breakfast. After Labor Day, there will be no more classes like these, so get your tickets now!
We Will Be Closed Thursday, July 31st…..
……thanks to stupid electricity being a dumb jerk. Or something. There’s some sort of “short” and something needs to be replaced or tweaked or I don’t know. All I know is that ConEd is there with our electrician right now fixing it. Then we can get back to baking for all our cake/pie/etc deliveries tomorrow.
Alas, we’re losing a lot of hours on this, so we won’t have enough time to both fill private/wholesale orders AND stock the case. So shop’s closed tomorrow, but will reopen at 10am on August 1st.
Our Friday night knife skills class is still on as usual, and we have two spots left. We’re still taking orders for cakes/pies this weekend with no issue. And of course, we’re in full preparation mode for Jump the Shark Weekend.
If you have a cupcake emergency (the dangers of cupcake emergencies are real), don’t hesitate to reach out to us via phone, email, or Twitter! We apologize for any inconvenience, and we’ll see you all Friday morning!
Jump the Shark Summer Week Two: Cakudding
BROOKLYN, NY — Move over cupcakes, there’s a new sheriff in town!
You’ve heard of croissants mashed up with donuts, donuts mashed up with s’mores, and s’mores mashed up with rugelach. But are you ready for cake mashed up with pudding?!?!?!
Pastry mad scientists Allison & Matt Robicelli, who we should mention are relatively famous in the cupcake world for SEO purposes, are swinging a hot bat, coming off the success of last week’s cultural phenomenon “Wafflecake™”. So what inspired this dynamic duo to create the newest dessert craze of 2014, Cakudding™?
"Well, we really love cake, but it seems so one dimensional and old fashioned" said co-owner Matt Robicelli. "Cake, frosting, repeat. We’re not here to just rehash old classics. We’re here to push desserts into the new millenium!"
"So we thought, what’s different from frosting?" added his wife Allison. "We experimented with aiolis, preserves- even an umami-rich Sloppy Joe mix. And that’s when it hit us: pudding!"
The Robicellis make their pudding from roasted sweet New Jersey corn, then layer it with corn cake, mashed blackberries, Chinese basil, and finally, fresh shucked raw kernels from the cob. Why so much corn?
"We like corn" says Allison. "Plus we started doing corn cake about 5 years ago and no one wrote jack crap about it. Same with our sweet corn and blueberry cookies. So obviously being really delicious wasn’t enough. We needed to make it extreme. And what’s more extreme in 2014 than Cakudding™?"
Now that their corn cake is finally in something Tweet-worthy, Cakudding™-mania looks like it has the legs to stay for a bit.
"Millennials will remember pudding from the late 80s, when popular television father figure Bill Cosby starred in a seemingly infinite number of commercials for Jell-O pudding," says Jebediah Farnsworth, who claims in his Twitter bio that he is a food marketing expert. "With the economy still in the toilet, young people are looking for foods that remind them of the simpler times of childhood. Cakudding™ is a slam dunk on multiple nostaglia platforms."
Naysayers have pointed out that totally-original innovation of Cukudding™ bears striking resemblance to some obscure ethnic dessert called “trifle”, apparently from Old England whose origins are unknown. However, the word trifle does not contain any sort of arrangement of the words “cake” or “pudding”. In fact, the only letters it has in common at all are “E” and “I”, and you can barely count those at all seeing as that they’re vowels.
"It’s also nothing like pudding cups, which don’t usually contain cake", explains Matt. "Nor is it like dirt cups. You will notice the absence of gummy worms.
This is a totally original invention that we made up in our brains, and we deserve all the glory and cash monies that come along with said invention.”
Cakudding™ will be available on Saturday, July 26th from 10am-8pm, and Sunday the 27th from 10am-5pm. Then by Monday July 28th we’ll all realize how stupid this is and maybe go eat a salad.
Robicelli’s is located at 9009 5th avenue in Brooklyn. Yes, we know it’s far out there. It’s going to be a nice weekend- plan a bike ride. Or wear some comfortable shoes and make a day of exploring the neighborhood, and visiting our many excellent restaurants and small businesses. There’s some really cool stuff down here!
***And yes, this is one weekend only. Come Monday it’s gone forever. Just like Wafflecake is gone. Stop asking for Wafflecake. Unless you’re, like, super rich or something. Then we can probably work something out.****
Wafflecake in the making. #wafflecake #waffpocolypse #jumptheshark
Robicelli’s Jumps the Shark…..of Tasty!
In the past week, we’ve seen cupcakes die their final, Jacob-Marley-dead-as-a-doornail death. It’s was horribly gruesome to watch, even though the press was cheering on the destruction of over 800 people’s jobs like they were watching a goring at a bullfight.
Then the next day, cupcakes were back and fine. Not Jacob Marley back- more like Jack Bauer dead. Or maybe they’re mostly dead, but just pretending to be back, like Weekend at Bernie’s.
Point is we have a business to run and NONE OF US CAN BE SURE. You can’t be entering a dead horse into the races! Just because cupcakes are now the next cupcakes doesn’t mean anything. Look how the Cronut snuck up on all of us last summer and suddenly, none of us had time to spend with our loved ones because we all had to wait on line for dessert. I’ve been fielding questions from the peanut gallery for months as to when we were going to make the “next big dessert”, because cronuts/doughnuts/macaroons/cake pops/cupcakes were not enough. We need new things to wait in line for.
We started making a killer pie, with our chocolate cream being called one of the top desserts in town by Zagat. But like the idiots we are, we forgot pie was so 2010, and seems unlikely for a comeback, no matter how badly we want to be the Cream Pie Captial of New York City. So while we sell a good amount of it, there’s been no infographics about the ascent of cream pie, which is sad because there’s really a lot of quality comedic potential there.
We make cookies, too! Really good ones, like a sweet corn and freeze dried blueberry that tastes like the toasty muffins my mom used to make me for breakfast, or our chocolate chip cookie that can suck up milk like a Hoover without falling apart. Alas, our mistake was making our cookies cookie-shaped. Or maybe it was because they’re not electric pink, or have an interesting ethnic backstory, or made with some sneaky ingredient like kale purée.
Cookies are the strippers of post-Guliani New York. You gotta have a gimmick. Being delicious is just not enough for sites to get page views.
We’re aware of the symbiotic relationship we have, internet. We want customers to come into our shop, visit one of our retail partners, or place a delivery order for delicious treats, in in exchange give us money that we can, in turn, spend on things like rent and food.
You want crazy bananas things you can post on Instagram and tweet, then crosspost to your “15 things that are the New Cupcake this week” listicle, so Proctor & Gamble can pay you craptons of money to run ads that I’ll just skip in three seconds.
This is a pretty solid system we’ve built here. The internet is the thing that made us, and we’re happy to be a part of the machine. So, if you guys need page views, well, then we’ve got your back.
This Saturday begins:
That’s right foodies, and the significant others who grudgingly get dragged along with them! We are dedicating every weekend this summer to getting even MORE intense. There will be no “wow, this cake is really delicious exactly how it is!” Oh HELL no! Why settle for just plain ol’cake, when we can hybridize it with a whole bunch of things. Maybe with make the cake with duck fat, stuff it inside a doughnut, deep fry the f*** out of it, then coat it in some sort of bacon Sriracha and locally-foraged mango glaze, or some equally intense stuff. Then you put it online with the caption “WANT OMFG (drool) (dead)”.
This is what we in the industry call “whimsy”. And we want you all to whimsy so hard that your junk falls off.
This Saturday we being with our first bombastic creation: vafflecake. We’re making Norwegian waffles, spreading them with a sour cream custard, stacking them into a pile, covering it with burnt sugar, and then serving it by the slice with a spot of preserves.
How much of this are we making? Not nearly enough to satiate off of New York city’s carnal waffle desires. We invite you to come down if you’re in the area, grab a slice, and Instagram it outside. We did build the shop in a spot with the best view in Brooklyn for just this reason. (And also because it’s close to our apartment)
Just picture holding up a big hunk of whatever right in front of this view! Maybe the guy in the tank top will still be there, too. That would be “so #BayRidge”
There’s not picture of this yet because we will be Instagramming the crap out of the entire process. Watch waffles be made in 15 second increments to the ironic-chic tunes of Herb Alpert! Watch us spread custard over waffles real slow and sexy-like, then stack them up into a luscious cake spiked with cardamom and vanilla bean.
This is going to be so freaking delicious.
This will be available starting Saturday at 10am til we sell out. We may make more for Sunday- who knows. Keep up with social channels for current #waffpocolypse news. Then after this weekend, we’ll all agree that wafflecake was so two days ago, and we’ll get to work on the NEXT next big thing. Then come summer’s end, we’ll have a veritable menu of exxxxtreme desserts for the bookers at Good Morning America to choose from, we can go on the talk show circuit, and license out our recipes to Costco. Everyone is winning here.
And remember: No one rides the line between clever and stupid like we do. Nobody.
After teaching yet another awesome class at the Institute of Culinary Education this past Friday, Matt and I realized that we just absolutely love teaching and need to do it more often. In a few years I see us buying an Airstream trailer, driving around the country, spreading the gospel of egg proteins and gluten development.
We’ve decided to bring things closer to home and offer a few intimate baking classes every Friday night at our shop in Bay Ridge. Right now we’ve planned three classes:
July 18th: Custardmania
July 25th: Pies Ahoy!
August 1st: Knife Skills
Classes will be small, involve a mixture of chef demo and hands-on practice, and you’ll be able to bring home some of the stuff we make (or you can just eat it on site- we won’t stop you). You’ll also get 10% off all Robicelli’s products you buy that night.
Click on the link above for a full class listing, and to buy tickets!
Robicelli’s is excited to announce that on July 26th, we’ll be participating at the Bacon & Beer Classic at Citifield! And if you purchase tickets through this link created especially for Robicelli’s fans, you can get your ticket for 20% off. This event has sold out in cities across America, so get your tickets now!
The Bacon and Beer Classic is a one-of-a-kind event hosted inside Major League Baseball stadiums across America! It is a premier experience focused on traditions, where one’s nostalgia of baseball meets their love for bacon and beer. Our events are ALL INCLUSIVE and our next stop is you, NEW YORK CITY! THE EXPERIENCE:When you enter the legendary home of the New York Mets, Citi Field Ballpark, you will explore the stadiums concourse all while sipping hundreds of craft brew samples and enjoying mouth-watering bacon-inspired tastes local NYC restaurants have cooked up exclusively for the event. While you’re enjoying the sips and tastes of the event, you’ll enjoy great music, play interactive games that will bring out your inner kid, as well as participate in cooking demos and beer schools – whether you’re an expert or a novice – you’ll leave knowing a thing or two more about bacon and beer! DETAILS:Enjoy New York City’s Bacon and Beer Classic on Saturday, July 26th, 2014! We’re offering a brunch (12-3pm) and evening session (7-10pm). Come to one, or come to both! You’ll need a ticket for each session you attend. *VIPs are granted admission to the event one hour earlier! All attendees must be age 21 or over. All Bacon and Beer Classic tickets are sold via Eventbrite. For more information, directions, and frequently asked questions about Bacon and Beer Classic, please visit our website: www.baconandbeerclassic.com THE BACON: American Whiskey Angus Club Steakhouse Bacon Bites Bamboo Bites BarBacon Bareburger Ben & Jack’s Steakhouse Big Daddy’s bittergreen catering Black Tree Blackbird’s Bar-Restuarant Blind Tiger Alehouse BLT Bar & Grill Brindle Room Certe Chef One Corp. COME ‘N GET IT BBQ Crowne Plaza Times Sqaure Brasserie 1605 Delicatessen Duke’s EMM Group / Lexington Brass F.Ottomanelli Burgers & Belgian Fries Friedman’s Lunch HK Hospitality Hunter’s International Wings Factory John’s of Times Square Katch Astoria KOSOFRESH KRAVE Jerky Landhaus Macbar Make My Cake Bakery Redwood Deli Ribs Within Bacon Robicelli’s Bakery Roni-Sue’s Chocolates Rudy’s Original Cheesecake Drops Schweid and Sons SCRATCHbread Sembrado South Brooklyn Pizza Strip House Midtown Supernova sWine The Entrepreneur’s Space Toloache Whitmans Wolfgang’s Steakhouse Mi Casa Cake Pops THE BEER: Abita Brewing Company ACE Cider Anchor Brewing Company Bad Seed Cider Barrier Brewing Co. Boston Beer Boston Beer Company Brewery Ommegang Broken Bow Brewery Brooklyn Brew Shop Brooklyn Brewery Captain Lawrence Central Waters Coney Island Coronado Brewing Company Cricket Hill Brewery Crispin Cider Company Elysian Brewing Company Flagship Brewing Company Flying Dog Brewery Great South Bay Brewery Green Flash Gun Hill Brewing Company Heavy Seas Beer Ithaca KelSo of Brooklyn Lagunitas Brewing Company Left Hand Brewing Mark Anthony Brands Mike’s Hard Lemonade Newburgh Brewing Company North American Brewery North Coast Brewing Co. Olde Burnside Brewing Original Sin Hard Cider Otter Creek / Wolaver’s Port City Queens Brewery Radiant Pig Craft Beers River Horse Brewing Company Roscoe Brewing Company Saranac Schlafly Seadog Brewing Company Shiner Shipyard Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. Sixpoint Brewery Sly Fox Smuttynose Brewing Company Southern Tier Brewing Co. Sovereign Cider Stone Brewing Co. Stoudts Brewing Company The Bronx Brewery Thirsty Dog Traveler Beer Company Two Roads Vermont Hard Cider Victory Brewing Company Woodchuck Hard Cider Yonkers Brewing Co. CHEERS!