Robicelli's

Flavors: Monday, December 12th

Dear Santa:

How have you been? Did you have a nice summer? How is your wife? I have been extra good this year, so here is the long list of presents I want this year. Please note the size and color of each item, and send as many as possible. If it seems too complicated, make it easy on yourself: just send money.  How about tens and twenties?

1. Tickets to “Sleep No More”.  I’ve been asking all year, Santa, and I’ve been extra EXTRA good just for this, so please make it happen. My kids get everything, and that’s fine- I love them to death and would give them the whole world if I could.  And I have forfeited Christmas and birthday gifts for the past few years so we could save money and throw everything we had back into the business.  And I would have no problem skipping another year, except I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO SEE THIS SHOW. 

And please promise me that it’s even more awesome than I think it is, because I hate it when I get so utterly hopelessly stoked for something and it doesn’t live up to expectation.  Maybe I have high standards, maybe I expect too much. I’m a woman, gaddamn it! I will never be happy with anything!!  ANYTHING!!!  

2. LASIK Surgery.  Actually, I hate surgery, so if I can just wake up with 20/20 vision, that would be sweet.  I’m sick of walking into doors in the middle of the night on account of my blindness.

3.  A Really Big Steak.  Just keep this on every list I ever send you.  There will never, ever be a day this doesn’t make me deliriously happy.  I prefer a bone-in ribeye, with a perfectly charred outside and a juicy medium rare center.  I also request that I be able to eat this steak with my bare hands and making whatever primal grunts or coos that I deem necessary without judgement.

4. Center Ice Rangers Seats.  I don’t get to follow hockey anymore because of that whole “raising young kids while running a small business” thing, but I miss it a lot.  If you can just talk Atticus & Toby to sitting down and watching one full game with me instead of forcing me to change the channel to “Yo Gabba Gabba”, that really would be just as good. And if we could all be eating steaks- WIN!

5. Jem Dolls.  Yes, I had ALL of them when I was six, and yes, we gave ALL of them away.  And yes, I now understand in adulthood that the show was actually created by Hasbro, and the entire Jem series was nothing but a really long commercial.  I should be too smart for this.  Yet I started Tivoing the old cartoon (it’s on the HUB network!), and within the first five minutes, I was on Ebay trying to track down all the dolls again.  Their hair was sooooo pretty.  

And if we can’t make the dolls happen, can we at least guarantee that Matt won’t laugh at me when I sing and dance during all the musical numbers? I still do a mean “Glitter and Gold”.

6. Another Steak.

7. The Ability to Understand Why Chicks Like Shoes So Much.  I have been trying, Santa.  I’ve been trying for 31 years- I just don’t freaking get it.  Who’s looking at your feet! Seriously! I wear the same pair of chef shoes every day, and have been wearing chef shoes for almost 10 years. I feel like maybe I’m missing out on something, but I really, really just don’t get shoes at all, and all I want is to fit in one girl’s night.

8. Big Apple Circus Tickets. Here’s a true story: when I was 8, my parents took my sister and I to the Big Apple Circus and we loved it. Wouldn’t stop talking about it.  The next year they took us again, and it wasn’t as great.  They tried this whole “wild west” theme that we didn’t like, the jokes weren’t as funny…..it’s just like I was saying in the “Sleep No More” part: sometimes when you look forward to something so much, it just can’t possibly live up.

We left the big top and my parents asked us how we liked the circus, and we told them it was horrible. And that’s when they FLIPPED THE F*** OUT ON US. My father started screaming at us at the top of his lungs as we got into the car, how we were spoiled and ungrateful, and how dare we not like the circus!  If they were buying us tickets to something, we sure as hell better like it!

Now, I was grounded a lot as a kid- like just about every weekend.  Sometimes I deserved it. And sometimes I couldn’t go out to play for two weeks because I didn’t like the circus enough.  That’s one of those things I have never let my dad forget about.

This year is the last one for Grandma the Clown, who I fell in love with at that first circus as a girl, and have had a soft spot for my entire life.  Matt and I decided that the boys were old enough to go to the circus for the first time and planned on buying them tickets for Christmas.  And then once we picked our seats in the last row, added on all the tax, “convenience” charges etc, we were looking at a bill close to $300 for the four of us.

So dad, um…..yeah, I’m really sorry for not liking the circus.  And if you know of any coupon codes, Santa, that would be pretty nice.

9. A Robot Army To Do My Bidding. There are really too many areas of my life where there’s some sort of problem that could EASILY be solved by a robot. Like the other night at Union Square and I couldn’t leave my booth but really wanted a burrito from Dos Toros? 

How smart is this.  Really, Santa.

10. A Week With My Husband and Kids. We don’t have to be in Hawaii or on a cruise or even out of the house.  I’ll take one full week where we do nothing but hang out in our pajamas and play Duplo blocks and Super Mario World, eat take-out and have cuddling parties.  Truth is, Santa, I already have everything I have ever wanted in the world with these three guys.  I just want more of it.

Though you know what would make my family even better? A robot butler.

Clockwise from front: Milk & Cookies, Chocolate Orange, Cranberry Gingerbread, Chocolate Pomegranate Cheesecake

Milk & Cookies: Brown sugar chocolate chip cake, mascarpone buttercream, crushed chocolate chip cookies

Chocolate Orange: Chocolate orange cake & buttercream, candied orange zest

Cranberry Gingerbread: Gingerbread cake, vanilla buttercream, cranberry compote

Chocolate Pomegranate Cheesecake: Chocolate cake, pomegranate cheesecake buttercream, ganache, pomegranate seeds

Available at:

AVAILABLE AT:

Robicelli’s at the Union Square Holiday Market: Booth C34

Robicelli’s at DeKalb Market: Corner of Flatbush Ave Ext & Willoughby, Downtown Brooklyn

Cafe at Sam’s Bakery: 94th off 3rd Ave, Bay Ridge

Aloha Grinds: 77th & 3rd, Bay Ridge

Bagel Schmagel: 76th & 3rd, Bay Ridge

Crespella: 7th Ave & 9th Street, Park Slope

Tazza: Clark Street off Henry AND Henry off Atlantic, Brooklyn Heights

Cake Shop: Ludlow btwn Stanton & Rivington, LES

Joe at Columbia University: W 120th btwn Broadway & Amsterdam, Morningside Heights

Battery Place Market: 77 Battery Place, Battery Park City

Queen City Cupcakes: West Main Street, Patchogue, Long Island

Red Hook Lobster Pound (Whoopie Pies Only)