Robicelli's

Hostess is dead. No more Twinkies, no more  Ho Hos, no more Ring Dings, no more Yodels (yup, they owned Drakes, too).

But I seriously need to remind you guys- these things were AWFUL. Every so often I get a craving for a Suzy Q or frozen Yodel, and I am floored at how much they taste like pure sugar and wax. Probably because as the cost of chocolate, butter and every single ingredient went up over the years yet people still demanded low, low prices, that’s exactly what they mostly became- sugar and parrafin wax (used as a commercial chocolate extender), held together with an ample amount of pure vegetable shortening.

Once upon a time someone realized this and started making cupcakes and other single sized baked goods from scratch again, and suddenly cupcakes became a massive phenomenon. Why? Because thanks to Hostess, we forgot how good dessert was supposed to taste. Cupcakes are not a new thing have been around FOREVER- Hostess, Drake’s et al just made them unremarkable for you. 

I say good riddance. People have highers standards now. People are willing to pay more for something that actually tastes good rather than something east something barely acceptable that’s cheap. I mean, if you’re going to put all those calories in your body, they should taste good, right?

So why not go out and eat one of these today? This is the last appearance of these flavors until fall of 2013, so take advantage before they disappear just like Twinkies have. Particularly the Chocolate Graham, as Sandy wiped out the Biscoff spread warehouse in NYC, and we’re facing a massive speculoos shortage.

Today is really just fulled of bad pastry news, ain’t it?

Brown Sugar Pumpkin: Brown sugar cake, chocolate pumpkin buttercream, ganache

Chocolate Graham: Chocolate cake, graham cracker buttercream, ganache, graham cracker crumbs

Butternut Spice: Butternut squash cake, vanilla buttercream, candied spiced pumpkin seeds, butternut squash seed oil

Pear Mascarpone: Pear cake, mascarpone buttercream, pear chip

As Allison is focusing on recovering from being hit by a car, friends and fans of Robicelli’s have pitched in to keep the blog going. She will be back shortly, we promise. You can send her messages over Twitter and Facebook, where she is popping up sporadically. 

Today’s blog post was contributed by one of Allison’s favorite authors: Ken Wheaton.  Ken is the author of the The First Annual Grand Prairie Rabbit Festival, and his second novel, Bacon & Egg Man, will be released later this year. Ken is originally from Louisiana, lives in Brooklyn, can be found blogging at KenWheatonWrites.com, and is, in Allison’s words “our generations Andy Rooney”.

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ADDENDUM ADDED ON 10/11- The following is a work of SATIRE. It is not true. There is no need to email/call us to ask if we really sold the company. Please read the into paragraph above that explains that this was written by Ken Wheaton as a fictional guest blog. We do appreciate the emails/phone calls- it’s nice to know that you guys were concerned.

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A Message From the New Management

                                                       by Ken Wheaton

Dear Valued Robicelli’s Customer,

We here at KRUMmy Cupcakes Inc. would like to take this opportunity to introduce ourselves as the new owner of Robicelli’s. As you may have heard, part of the Robicelli’s team ran into a little trouble recently – or, more accurately, a little trouble ran into her – and it was an honor, a privilege and, quite frankly, smart business for KRUMmy to step in and offer assistance by way of a buy-out.

Before we go any further, though, we’d like to clear up one thing. The driver of that vehicle was not an employee of our company and has never been on the KRUMmy payroll. Reports that he was seen leaving the country soon after the accident with bags of cash are little more than unfounded rumors.

But let us not dwell on the past. Let us look to the future, a future filled with exciting cupcakey goodness.

You may notice some small changes at Robicelli’s as we move forward. For example, we are pleased to announce our new flavor lineup.

1.      Chocolate with extra frosting.

2.      Red velvet with extra frosting.

3.      Cupcake stuffed with M&Ms, rolled in M&Ms, with extra frosting and then sprinkled with M&Ms.

Some of you will no doubt notice that we are moving away from Robicelli’s, shall we say, unique ideas about what a cupcake is. Here at KRUMmy  we firmly believe that when the good lord created cupcakes he never intended meat and other exotic ingredients to be involved. Fried chicken belongs in a bucket with French fries and olive oil belongs on pasta. Further, if a cupcake does not deliver two days’ worth of sugar, then it might as well be a muffin. And KRUMmy is not in the muffin business.

We will also be standardizing cupcake names as we feel that while noted Hollywood icons like Dom Deluise and Rue Mclanahan may be popular now, not every cupcake consumer is current in pop culture and may be confused by such names.

Regarding the size of cupcakes, KRUMmy doesn’t believe that one size fits all – unless that size is extra large. Therefore we will be phasing out Robicelli’s traditional cupcake size – we’ve tried a miniature line in the past and it did not sell as well as we’d like. Moving forward, Robicelli’s by KRUMmy cupcakes will serve six, weigh in at two pounds and require utensils. (A plate isn’t necessary – as long as you have a Shopvac handy to deal with the aftermath.)

These cupcakes will be available at local neighborhood retailers including: Gristedes, Key Food, The Met, C-Town, Target and, if you’re lucky enough to live near one, Walmart.

Once again, we are excited to be serving you, the Robicelli’s consumer and hope that you welcome us into your home and come to consider us part of your family.

—Peter I. Wankworth III, CEO, KRUMmy Cupcakes Inc.

Coming soon we’ll have posts from author Aaron Goldfarb, screenwriter John Capo, food bloggers and PR mavens and many more. But now there’s today’s cupcakes, plus lots of other good stuff going to stores all over NYC tomorrow. Enjoy!

Clockwise from front: Ebinger, Pecan Pie, Brown Sugar Pumpkin, Pear Mascarpone

The Ebinger: Chocolate cake, chocolate custard buttercream, chocolate fudge, chocolate cake crumbs

Brown Sugar Pumpkin: Brown sugar cake, chocolate pumpkin buttercream, ganache, demerera sugar

Pear Mascarpone: Pear cake, mascarpone buttercream, pear chip

Pecan Pie: Pecan molasses cake, vanilla buttercream, molasses glazed pecans

Hey everyone it’s Matt. I know you’re all expecting Allison to be here writing the blog as she’s the good writer in the marriage and I’m just here to be eye candy. 

Eat your heart out, America.

As you can imagine, Allison isn’t in the best shape right now, and is ordered to be on bedrest and lots of painkillers, so I, with the rest of the Robicelli’s team and the help of some good friends, will be picking up the slack for her over here on the blog for a while so she can focus on healing. I don’t know when she’ll be back full time because she’s already yelling at me that she wants to work because she’s my thick headed stubborn wife and she’s not good at sitting still, even when she’s in horrible pain. Right now she’s yelling at me from the bed that I better not make spelling mistakes and to use good grammar, because she knows that’s not my strong suit. One time I wrote her a love letter and she corrected all the run on sentences and punctuation.

However, the show will still go on. We still have cupcakes, brownies, whoopies and loaf cakes going to stores three times a week. You can still expect to see Robicelli’s at this years NYC Food and Wine Festival, even if my wife won’t be with us. And we’re still working on some new locations and planning for the holidays, even if this has thrown a monkey wrench into some of the things we were thinking about. If there’s one thing I think embodies Robicelli’s, is that we have never been quitters, no matter how difficult things get. 

Allison told me to thank you all for all the nice emails and messages you all have sent. They’ve been one of the only things that have made her smile for the last few days, so I’d like to thank you for them as well. And I want to thank you for reading all of this even if I’m not as good as a writer as she is. I am really good at baking though, so you should go out and buy yourself something delicious today as proof of that. My personal favorite cupcake of all our 200+ flavors is out today: Pecan Pie! 

Clockwise from front: Pecan Pie, Brown Sugar Pumpkin, Pear Mascarpone, The Tina

Pear Mascarpone: Pear cake, mascarpone buttercream, pear chip

Pecan Pie: Pecan molasses cake, vanilla buttercream, molasses glazed pecans

The Tina: Chocolate almond cake, vanilla buttercream, roasted almonds, ganache

Brown Sugar Pumpkin: Brown sugar cake, chocolate pumpkin buttercream, chocolate drizzle, demerara sugar

You like our hot cocoa.

You like our candied bacon. 

Well now…..

HOW ABOUT OUR CANDIED BACON HOT COCOA?!!??!

We just blew your minds, didn’t we.

This weekend at the Bust Craftacular- at 82 Mercer-

CUPCAKES:

The Mikey: Chocolate CocaCola cake & buttercream, cola ganache, Pop Rocks

The Elvis: Banana cake, Peanut butter buttercream, candied bacon

The Hansel: Gingerbread cake, white chocolate pudding, speculoos buttercream, white chocolate dipped homemade gingerbread cookie

Brown Sugar Pumpkin (yes, it’s a fall flavor, but you all asked for it so you got it):  Brown sugar cake, chocolate pumpkin buttercream, ganache

WHOOPIE PIES:

Classic: Vanilla Marshmallow filling

Mint Chocolate: Peppermint buttecream, crushed candy candy canes, ganache

BROWNIES:

Classic: with a touch of French Sea Salt

The Fany: with Cajeta & Cinnamon

The Maltz: with Bourbon & Bacon

Today I’m not going to hound you to preorder Thanksgiving cupcakes.  No, today I’m going to hound you about why you should sign up for Samplrs!

What is this “Samplrs”, you ask?  It’s actually an idea so smart, I’m really shocked that no one has thought of it before.  Like how when I saw the Snuggie I was all like “I have been complaining about the lack of armholes on my blanket for YEARS!”, or when I saw the Big Top Cupcake and I was like “DAMNIT! I just thought that big cupcakes were called ‘Cakes’, and I was apparently so wrong! We could be making a freaking FORTUNE! I AM SO STUPID!”.  It’s exactly like that.

You know all these great little food companies that keep popping up on the blogs or in the papers? All the small businesses starting out that don’t have the money or capital for mass distribution? It would be great if you could try them all, but with them all being in select stores, it’s nearly impossible to track them all down.

This is where Samplrs comes in.  Once a month for $30, they’ll bring a beautiful reusable tote bag full of assorted goodies TO YOUR HOUSE. Meaning not only do you not have to drag your ass all over town to try this stuff- now you don’t even have to wear pants!

You know those brownies we make that keep selling out faster than we can make them? Well those are going into this months tote bags. And because I asked nicely, they are extending this month’s sign-up deadline through the weekend just for you guys.  How sweet is that?

I don’t know what other surprises you’ll be finding in this month’s bag, but based on some of the people their owner told me he was speaking to, I’m almost positive it’ll be insanely delicious.  And let’s not forget the whole “not having to wear pants” thing. That really sort of sells me on just about anything.

Today, however, I think you should put on pants, and go out to try these yummy cupcakes, especially this insanely delicious new flavor that won’t make it back until January.  It’s also the last appearance of the Brown Sugar Pumpkin this year, so go git!

Clockwise from front: Brown Sugar Pumpkin, Chocolate Graham, Pecan French Toast, Abuelita

NEW! Chocolate Graham: Chocolate cake, graham cracker buttercream, chocolate fudge, graham cracker crumbs

Brown Sugar Pumpkin: Brown sugar cake, pumpkin chocolate buttercream, ganache

Pecan French Toast: Maple custard soaked cinnamon cake, maple cinnamon buttercream, maple glazed pecans

Abuelita: Chocolate cinnamon cake, cajeta buttercream, ground Abuelita chocolate

Available at:

Robicelli’s at DeKalb Market: Corner of Flatbush & Willoughby, Downtown Brooklyn

Cafe at Sam’s Bakery: 94th Street off Third Avenue, Bay Ridge

Aloha Grinds: 76th and Third Ave, Bay Ridge

Bagel Schmagel: 76th and Third Ave, Bay Ridge

Tazza: Clark Street off Henry AND Henry off Atlantic, Brooklyn Heights

Blue Apron Foods: Union Street off 7th Avenue, Park Slope

Court Street Grocers: Court Street off Luquer, Carroll Gardens

NEW LOCATION! The West: 379 Union Avenue, Williamsburg

Eastern District: Manhattan Ave off Eagle Street, Greenpoint

Brooklyn Standard: Nassau & Jewel, Greenpoint

Cake Shop: Ludlow St btwn Standon & Rivington, LES

Sons of Essex: Essex St btwn Stanton & Rivington, LES

Joe Columbia University: West 120th btwn Broadway & Amsterdam, Morningside Heights

Brooklyneer: 220 West Houston, West Village

Queen City Cupcakes: 62 West Main Street, Patchogue, Long Island 

Red Hook Lobster Pound: Van Brunt Street, Red Hook; Brooklyn Flea; Smorgasburg; Roving Food Truck (Whoopie Pies Only)

Well, Halloween has come and gone.  But before I start bugging you all incessantly about placing your Thanksgiving orders as soon as possible, I need to be that parent who tells you about what happened to their kids on Halloween, because I’m still shaking my head over this one.  

After school let out, we went to the Halloween party at the Museum of Natural History- totally awesome, probably the best thing ever.  But this isn’t about that.  Nor is it about the part where Atticus decided to do some “fancy walking” on Central Park West and charged smack into Lewis Black, who was actually so cheerful I didn’t even recognize him til Matt pointed out that our son had come within 3” of headbutting him square in the crotch.

This is about how after the party was over and we had taken the long subway ride home, we went to the Starbucks around the corner from our place, aka my office/second home.  As I order my drink, our little boys give the baristas their best “Trick or Treat” and hold out their bags, and both receive THIS:

An unsharpened number two pencil!  Not a special Starbucks branded one, not a green one- AN UNSHARPENED STAPLES BRAND PENCIL FROM A SACK OF PENCILS. And because we’re regulars, MY kids get hooked up with TWO pencils a piece. That Starbucks Rewards Gold Card Status paid off yet again!

I made a crack about how we should have gotten there earlier before they had to resort to giving out office supplies, and that’s when the baristas told me that the decision to give out pencils was from corporate.

Listen, I can understand not wanting to give out candy. But pencils? I thought for a minute maybe it’s just a way to dissuade kids from ever trying to trick-or-treat at a Starbucks again, but everyone knows that if you want to do that, you hand out raisins.  As bizarre as it was, I was highly amused, and happy that it made the toothbrushes and pretzels they got look AMAZING in comparison.

Now here’s where it gets hilarious.

We go home, take off our costumes, and the kids go straight for their trick or treat bags.  Is the first thing they take out the Oreos, or the chocolate? No- it’s the freaking pencils.  Toby starts trying to draw a picture with his, but nothing- it’s unsharpened.  He turns to me and asks for help, but there’s nothing I can do as we don’t own a pencil sharpener. I mean really, it’s 2011- who has a pencil sharpener lying around besides my parents? 

So despite the fact that they went to a Halloween party, got to trick-or-treat in the dinosaur museum, got to see a show from the Big Apple Circus, got to ride the subway, got to almost hit Lewis Black in the nuts, got to share custard from Shake Shack, got a giant sack of candy AND had pretty much the best Halloween two kids could possibly have, my kids ended the night hysterically crying in disappointment because of those damn unsharpened pencils. 

Fortunately the next morning, they brought back the Gingerbread Latte so all is temporarily forgiven.  Besides, it was better than getting a rock.

Clockwise from front: Brown Sugar Pumpkin, Liddabit, Twicks, Pecan French Toast

Brown Sugar Pumpkin: Brown sugar cake, chocolate pumpkin buttercream, ganache

Liddabit: Chocolate cake, salted caramel nougat buttercream, roasted peanuts, ganache and caramel

Twicks: Vanilla cookie cake, salted caramel buttercream, chocolate fudge, cookie crumbs

Pecan French Toast: Maple custard soaked cinnamon cake, maple cinnamon buttercream, maple glazed pecans

Available at:

Robicelli’s at DeKalb Market: Corner of Flatbush Ave Extension & Willoughby, Downtown Brooklyn

Hom: 88th Street and Third Avenue, Bay Ridge

Cafe at Sam’s Bakery: 94th Street off Third Avenue, Bay Ridge

Blue Apron Foods: Union Street off 7th Avenue, Park Slope

Tazza: Clark Street off Henry AND Henry off Atlantic, Brooklyn Heights

Radish: Bedford Avenue off North 8th, Williamsburg

Jem: Broadway off Franklin Street, TriBeCa

Battery Market: 77 Battery Place, Battery Park City

Joe at Columbia University: West 120th Street btwn Broadway and Amsterdam, Morningside Heights

Queen City Cupcakes: 62 Main Street, Patchogue, Long Island

New Sorts of Awesome At Madison Square Eats & DeKalb Market Tomorrow!

Because, you know, we’re cool like that. And Matt will not stop until he’s created ONE BILLION MILLION PUMPKIN TYPE FLAVORS THIS FALL. Or something of that nature.

That cupcake in the foreground? That’s a brown sugar cake with a chocolate pumpkin buttercream, drizzled with dark chocolate. It doesn’t even have a name yet. And It’s 2am and I’m exhausted, so I’ll wait til tomorrow- otherwise in this state, I’ll probably name it something like “Oprah” or “Blossom” or some crap.

In the back is THE NOAH, which we introduced in limited quantity on Sunday for the DeKalb Night Market.  It’s an apple cake with goat cheese buttercream, roasted bacon, and brown butter bourbon sauce on top.  It’s really really really really good (it’s 2am- I no write so good right now. Sue me).

And finally, chocolate with salted caramel buttercream and French Sea Salt. That one’s good too. Now I’m going to bed.