Christmas flavors are in select stores now. We’re taking off most of this week to play with our kids toys and eat pigs in a blanket. We’ll be back on Friday, and are taking New Year’s Eve orders all week, regardless if we’re in the office or blogging or etc.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
We thought by pulling out of holiday markets this year, we’d have lots of time to spend with our children. As always- WRONG.
On Monday we played hooky so we could finally do the one thing that’s been on my “must do” list for 6 years and has never happened- take the boys to Macy’s on 34th Street to see Santa. It was, like everything I look forward to, a total disaster. The store was hot as hell, so I had to hold everyone’s bulky winter coats, and the bags, and my purse, and the boys coloring books like a frikkin sherpa. The hour plus we spent on line was NOT spent playing games or enjoying Santaland with our children, but instead spent completely ignoring them with both of us glued to our iPhones as there was a gigantic problem with a big delivery (reminder to everyone dreaming of owning a small business- you are NEVER “off”. We’ve taken calls from clients while on vacation, at weddings, at my grandmother’s funeral….and now at Santaland!). The Santa we got to see ended up scowling in the picture we spent a small fortune for. And there were tourists EVERYWHERE! Really- someone needs to give out instructions at the airport to these people, explaining to them that the rules of the road in the rest of the world are the same as the rules of WALKING in NYC: you need to look at something, pull over to the right. Stop short in the middle of a walkway to look at something, someone WILL run straight into you and then curse you out.
I did manage to get off my phone long enough to get this blurry picture of a tree staring at me. So, you know, that was worth it I guess.
THEN I got into a fight with an Elvis impersonator on 34th Street over the fact that he’s NEVER seen, much less heard of, Full House! And then get this crap- he tells me “I grew up in San Francisco- they didn’t air it there”. !!!!!! Are you freaking KIDDING me fake Elvis?!?!!
Uncle Jesse keeps saying “Settle down, pretty mama”, but I CAN’T. I sort of feel like Christmas is really trying to kill me.
I give up on trying to get the family to Rockefeller center or Saks, give up on having the New York Christmas experience that I had every year of my life before I had kids, and just get the boys back on the train back home.
*sigh*
So there we are on a packed N train, surrounded by businessmen. And my little Toby Bear (age 4), who loves the subway more than any kid on earth, won’t shut up (like his mom). He’s talking to ALL OF THEM. “Do you know we live on the R train? My name is Toby though, and I wish we lived on the T train. They’re building a T train that’s new! I can’t wait to ride it! No one in my family is an R. Well, we had a cat named Robbie, but he died. I’m not allowed to talk about him though, because every time I do, mommy cries a lot. So don’t say ‘Robbie’ to my mommy, ok?”.
I know every parent says this, but Toby is one of those kids that seriously, almost unnaturally adorable, and without question the most charming kid I’ve ever met. Everyone is smiling at him.
Then he looks at a businessman standing near the door, a tall slender man with thick glasses, nice black suit, completely bald. And Toby says to him “I’m going to Brooklyn! Where are you going- to go buy some hair?”
Oh God, no.
“Everyone, look! That guy lost his hair! Maybe he dropped it!”
Matt avoids the guys gaze, starts shushing Toby the best he can. “Toby- STOP. That’s not nice. Let’s talk about Santa”
Does this stop him? OF COURSE NOT!!!!
“I have lots of hair! You need to go to the hair store and get some. Or maybe you need to get off the train, and get on a train going back to your office. Maybe your hair is still there and you left it on your desk! You need to go back and look for it!”.
In the event that man reads this site- sir, I am SO SORRY. I know you were laughing, even though I couldn’t make eye contact with you. But really- so so so so so so sorry.
And Toby, thank you for once again doing something ridiculous and saving Christmas from being a total painful crapshow for the 5th year in a row. I may not get to see the windows at Bergdorf’s or the Nutcracker anymore, or be able to go Christmas shopping without wanting to throw myself through a plate glass window, or make it to December 25th without having at least one small nervous breakdown. Yet somehow, Christmas is better now than it has ever been before. Because with you and your brother, EVERYTHING is better.
Hope all of you have managed to find some little moments that have made the holidays less insane for you. Maybe you could have a moment with one of these cupcakes? Maybe a Robicelli’s brownie or a cup of our hot cocoa? That sounds pretty nice, doesn’t it?
Photograph property of Instagram.
From front: Creme Brulee, Hot Toddy, Chocolate Orange, The Hansel
The Hansel: Gingerbread cake, white chocolate pudding, speculoos buttercream, white chocolate dipped gingerbread cookie
Hot Toddy: Honey whiskey soaked cake, honey cinnamon buttercream, candied lemon peel
Creme Brulee: Vanilla cake, custard buttercream, caramelized sugar
If you’re like me, you’re still nowhere close to done with your Christmas shopping. That’s because you spent the last 3 weeks obsessing over what you’re going to get your kids, then suddenly woke up in the middle of the night with the realization you have at least a dozen other relatives you need to shop for. You see these people once or twice a year, have NO idea what to get them, and don’t have a single functioning brain cell left at this time of year to come up with an idea.
Fortunately, you have me to tell you what to do in these situations! And that is: buy stuff from us!
But WHY should you buy Robicelli’s brownies etc for your loved and/or tolerated ones this Christmas? Same reason I give every year: the gift of food doesn’t need to be dusted. It’s not going to take up space, it’s not going to go unappreciated. People will eat them, love them, and then they’re gone and out of their apartment. And best part- you can give them the same thing next year, and they’ll love you for it!
It’s not a crappy tin of cookies that’s going to sit on the dining room table for 6 months as it slowly dries out. It’s US. We don’t phone anything in- our brownies are made with tons of melted butter, Callebaut chocolate, Valrhona cocoa, and other fine ingredients. Our hot cocoa is made with the same high quality Valrhona & European sea salt. And our loaf cakes make the best possible breakfast for the day after Christmas.
You know who else agrees with us? EVERYONE. Seriously. We’ve been endorsed by the following gift guides:
The last possible day for us to ship in time for Christmas is next Wednesday, meaning orders MUST be in by Tuesday morning to ensure delivery.
And keep your eye on our Twitter and Facebook feeds- I’ll be sending out some special super-secret promo codes over the next few days for our loyal fans!
That’s right, there’s only about a week and a half for you to get your holiday orders in! This year’s Christmas menu is:
CUPCAKES
Port Poached Pear: Pear cake, vanilla buttercream, port poached pear, port reduction
Chocolate Candy Cane: Mint chocolate chip cake, peppermint buttercream, crushed candy canes
Creme Brulee: Vanilla cake, vanilla custard buttercream, caramelized sugar
Cranberry Gingerbread: Gingerbread cake, vanilla buttercream, homemade cranberry compote
WHOOPIE PIES
Classic Vanilla Marshmallow
Chocolate Chestnut
Eggnog
BROWNIES
Classic Sea Salt
The Moverley (Scotch whiskey, walnuts, espresso)
It will make your Christmas extra merry, just like this:
We have packed up for the last time at Union Square Market and have gone home. I’ve just taken a hot shower, thrown on “It’s A Wonderful Life”, and am about to go pick up my kids and spend Christmas Eve with the best type of friends- the ones who have known me forever. We’ll soon put the boys to bed and set out apple juice and pretzels for Santa, and settle in ourselves for our first good night of sleep in many, many weeks.
Thank you all so much for an incredible holiday season. Seven day weeks and long hours were made more than tolerable because of your smiling faces, the stories and jokes you shared when you came to visit, and the time you spent with us. Thank you for inspiring us, for driving us, and for allowing us to be a part of your lives. We are the most blessed people in the world not only because we get to do what we love, but we get to do it for some of the most amazing people we have ever met.
Merry Christmas.
