Robicelli's

Thank you, Francis Lam, for going on the record and standing up for my personal fight against the tyranny of traditional pants, and in that, my unending love of my precious  Pajama Jeans.

If you’re still one of those people who scoffs at Pajama Jeans, I’ll have you know that not only are they the best fitting, most comfortable pair of pants that I have ever owned in my entire life, but I actually did a photoshoot for a fancy ladies magazine this past week, and no one knew that I was wearing Pajama Jeans until I mentioned it at the end of the shoot. Seriously, the infomercial does not lie- I constantly get complimented on these damn things.

You know what happened next, right? EVERYONE in the studio had to come and touch my pants. People want to touch my pants, like, all the time.

If you are curvy and want your ass to look spectacular (really- these pants have the ass-magic), want to be ridiculously comfortable, and constantly have strangers petting your pants like you’re some sort of adorable dog, then you should go down to Walgreens or wherever they sell pants in a box next to the Shamwows and Oxiclean, and change your freaking life.

(Before I continue, I have to stress that I am NOT on the Pajama Jeans payroll, nor have I ever received anything from them for being their biggest cheerleader on the planet. THOUGH I CAN BE BOUGHT, PAJAMA JEANS PEOPLE!)

Anyway, after walking around in last nights one billion percent humidity and staying completely cool and comfortable from the waist down, I decided that it was time to invest in several more pairs. And that is when Matt tells me that if I buy more Pajama Jeans, he’s going to go back to wearing Hawaiian shirts all the time. Because Jerkface McGoo obviously never wants me to be happy again.

You may remember how this spitefest began last October when I first bought the pants.  And yet while I have managed to wear the Pajama Jeans only when I’m writing or on days where it was too unbearably hot for real jeans, wouldn’t you know Mr. Too-Good-For-Boxed-Pants wears basketball shorts ALL THE TIME! And guess how many times he’s played basketball since last October? ZERO, that’s how many! 

So now we’re upping the threat level to Hawaiian shirts, buddy?  Well, winter’s just around the corner, and THESE are happening:

Yeah, that’s right Matt- SWEATER PANTS. And unlike Pajama Jeans that are obviously just for moms like me that have given up on life and are 6 minutes away from having a complete collection of seasonally-themed vests, these sweater pants are high fashion! Yup, they’re made by Charlotte Ronson for Free People, and start at $200! I mean, why would I want to stick with dumb old Pajama Jeans that cling to my every curve in the best possible way, when I could be like all the cool girls online who are wearing Hammer Pants and sweaters on their legs!

So it’s your call, Matt. I’ve got $200 and my Sicilian stubborn streak all ready to go. Just say the word and it’s Hammertime.

And for the rest of you, you should also know that Pajama Jeans are the perfect pants for foodies.  Really- as much as you stuff yourself, the pants will continually contour to your expanding belly and move easily as you walk it off. And while you’re laying back, feeling the freedom of a life without oppressive pants, and eating some of these bad boys, you’ll always be able to think of me, and how devastatingly awesome I am.  You’re welcome, America.

Clockwise from front: North Fork, Kahlua Banana, Horchata, McFadden

NEW! Kahlua Banana: Chocolate Kahlua banana cake, Kahlua coffee buttercream, Kahlua chocolate sauce

North Fork: Chocolate cabernet cake, blackberry cabernet buttercream and compote

Horchata: Horchata cake, pudding and buttercream, cinnamon sugar rice krispies

McFadden: Victorian lemonade cake made with Pimm’s, lemon ginger buttercream, hand candied lemon peel

Thursday night, I wrote the Tumblr in bed wearing my Pajama Jeans. Then Matt came home and saw them, and promptly started ripping into me.  Let’s take a look at his tweets in succession, shall we?

@MattRobicelli   Well the honey moon is over, I thought I married a rough and tough city girl but she proves me wrong with the pajama jeans@robicellis

@MattRobicelli All she need now is some blacked out teeth, some chaw and the theme to green acres playing the back. Well goodnight Ma@robicellis

@MattRobicelli     Hey @robicellis just bought pajama jeans, I’m ok with that cause I just invented pajama thongs. They look like real thongs but their pajamas

So now these are no longer just “Pajama Jeans”. Oh no no no…..these are spite pants.  I promised him the next day that I was wearing them to Madison Square Eats, and he just rolled over and went to sleep.  The next morning I was pulling them on, and this is how that went:

Matt: You’re not actually wearing those outside, are you?

Allison: Oh hell yeah I am.

Matt: I thought that you were just going to wear them when you go to Starbucks to work on the book?

Allison: What about your basketball shorts?

Matt: What about them?

Allison: I have never once, in over six years together, ever seen you play basketball.  NOT ONCE.

Matt: But they’re comfortable!

Allison: GO PLAY SOME BASKETBALL!!!!

Matt: TAKE OFF THOSE PANTS!

Allison: NO!

Matt: FINE! GO OUT AND MAKE AN ASS OF YOURSELF!

I wore them to Madison Square Eats, and aside from the people who actually read the blog who knew to look for them, no one noticed they weren’t real jeans.  Yes, the infernal pink drawstring kept popping out (you know how I llooovvveee pink), and yes the dye bleeds like hell, so every time I touched my pants I blue myself, but the point is I took a stand for something, and it feels pretty good. I may not ever relegate them to Starbucks only duty- I may go on embarrassing my husband and children with them full time, or at least til the basketball shorts disappear.

Then today, while I was suffering the indignity of wearing real pants, I saw this tweet:

@feistyfoodieYvo     OMG my day is made:youtube.com/watch?v=5S2p7A…cc: @robicellis (take that, pajama jeans!)

And here’s what she was talking about.

See, now this……this is too far, America.  Too, too, too damn far.  

However, now you people are under the impression that I’m a lazy sack of crap, rather than someone who draws the line at wearing boxed pants from Walgreen’s out of spite.  Even though I didn’t think that my life had spiraled down so low to the point where people would expect to see me in a hot pink fleece jumpsuit, or to ever have the urge to go tailgating in such a jumpsuit, or really just to have the urge to tailgate at all……..well the point is, I’m a woman of the people, and I have to give the people what they want.

This is why I made the following declaration:

Currently we have 1,740 followers on Twitter, and 749 on Facebook.

IF, by Wednesday, October 19th, we have 2,000 followers on Twitter (260 to go) and 1,000 “Likes” on Facebook (251 to go), I WILL PURCHASE A FOREVER LAZY AND WEAR IT FOR THE FINAL DAYS OF MADISON SQUARE EATS.

I am more than willing to make an ass of myself for you guys, but you need to pitch in a bit, too.  You want to experience THIS kind of extreme sexiness? You need to help us spread the word and let people know they need to be following us.

PS- see that black line on the side of the girls leg, by her tushie?  That’s a zipper, so one can do, erm, their “business”.  These people thought of everything.

Today I shall spend the morning at Madison in real clothes and proper pants, so you should come and visit me while I still have a shred of dignity in tact.  I will also have these cupcakes with me, in case you need more motivation:

Clockwise from front: Apple Peanut Butter, Pumpkin Caramel, The CPB, Pecan French Toast

Apple Peanut Butter: Apple cake, peanut butter buttercream, homemade peanut brittle

Pumpkin Caramel: Pumpkin cake, salted caramel buttercream, pumpkin seeds

The CPB: Chocolate cake, peanut butter buttercream, roasted peanuts, ganache

Pecan French Toast: Maple custard soaked cinnamon cake, maple cinnamon buttercream, maple glazed pecans

Available at:

Robicelli’s at DeKalb Market:  Flatbush Avenue Extension & Willoughby Street, Downtown Brooklyn

Robicelli’s at Madison Square Eats: Corner of 25th Street & 5th Avenue

Cafe at Sam’s Bakery: 94th Street off Third Avenue, Bay Ridge

Aloha Grinds: 76th Street and 3rd Avenue, Bay Ridge

Bagel Schmagel: 76th Street and 3rd Avenue, Bay Ridge

Tazza: Clark Street off Henry AND Henry Street off Atlantic, Brooklyn Heights

Cake Shop: Ludlow Street btwn Stanton & Rivington, LES

Joe Columbia University: W 120th btwn Broadway & Amsterdam, Morningside Heights

Queen City Cupcakes (Closed Monday- Flavors for Tuesday):  62 West Main Street, Patchouge, Long Island 

Red Hook Lobster Pound: 284 Van Brunt Street, Red Hook (Whoopie Pies Only)