So I’ve been slacking big time on this blog lately, and I’m sorry. I know this is my company and I’m supposed to be on top of these things, but I’m entering a phase right now where I have about twenty thousand things to do, and they all need to be done at the same time. I’m currently writing this at 12:17am Wednesday morning, and I’ve been working since 11am. I still have a solid 6 hours of work ahead of me to wrap on today. Then I have two kids to get to school tomorrow and another full day of work planned.
It happens.
Currently the big project is wrapping up the book after a year and a half of hard work. It’s written, photographed, and designed, and yet there’s still a billion and a half things to be done. We’re planning some great events for the fall, retesting recipes to make sure there’s no typos (you’d be amazed how often this happens) — I really can’t wait for you guys to read it. And if you preorder it now, you’ll be able to rest with the security of knowing you’re going to read it, which lets face it, is important to all of us.
Here’s what I can guarantee over the next few weeks: I will promise to post the flavors when they’re up, but I can’t promise anything cute or funny (I will keep writing columns for Mediumthough, so you don’t need to be going crazy and thinking about jumping off a cliff just yet).
What I CAN promise is to post videos I’ve yoinked from YouTube of whatever random crap is rolling through my head at the moment. Today, the theme song to What’s Happening! Man, my head is awesome.
Pecan French Toast: Maple custard soaked cinnamon cake, maple cinnamon buttercream, maple glazed pecans
So on Monday, I got a few frantic emails and texts asking me if I had completely lost my mind. Apparently everyone I know - we’re talking my friends, my agent, my family- couldn’t figure out that Monday’s post was an April Fool’s Day joke until they got all the way down to the disclaimer waaaaaaay at the bottom.
Let’s look at that fact a little closer. Halfway through the post, I featured this picture:
And yet everyone I know STILL thought this was a serious post for several more paragraphs. I don’t think this speaks as poorly for them and their gullibility as it does for me, and the fact that the people who know me best would honestly think that a picture of Grover Cleveland as a chicken could be a legitimate part of my logic process.
I won’t let peoples doubts about my competency as a human being kill my buzz over the fact that with our April Fools post, my writers block seems to be officially over!!! Let’s not pretend that this blog hasn’t been sucking something awful for a few weeks and I’ve totally been phoning it in, because I have, and I completely apologize for that.
I went through a massive depression after completing the book, which I wasn’t really expecting. I spent the better part of 18 months with my entire life revolving around planning, proposing, selling, writing, rewriting, RErewriting, photographing, and editing this thing, and then suddenly a few weeks ago my part was done, and the center of my universe was suddenly in someone elses hands. Now all I can really do is wait until October when I’ll be able to hold the finished book for the first time, pray people buy it, and that’s really about it.
Apparently this is a very common thing amongst authors - someone in the industry compared it to having a baby, then immediately having the baby whisked away from you and returned when they’re 22 and “finished”. Considering I’ve suffered from post partum depression before (which I chronicled here), I suppose I should have expected this (and of course I didn’t, because I am DUMB).
Point is, being depressed and sitting down late at night, staring a blank computer screen, telling yourself “BE FUNNY NOW DAMNIT!!!”- that doesn’t work out as easily as you would hope. Also learned that eating a pint of ice cream will not somehow miraculously make the magic happen.
But Grover Cleveland has seemingly changed all of that! I’m back on the horse and ready to post things that make us all slightly dumber two times a week!
PS- Watch Happy Endings on ABC tonight because if this show gets cancelled there will be no ending my depression and I will hold you all responsible AND YOU WILL ALL FEEL MY WRATH.
I will also be making you hungry two times a week, regardless if my writing is any good or not! Like right now!
As of late I’ve been up til about 4 or 5 every morning finishing the first draft of our book, always with Hallmark Channel on in the background as they play a two hour block of The Golden Girls every night, followed by one hour of Cheers (though they’re showing the Diane years right now which are really far inferior to the Rebecca years- but that is an essay for another day).
Along with my shows are the commercials for the many many many stupid “Made for Hallmark” tv movies (I know for a fact that they’re stupid because I watch them and I can’t stop myself). And oddly enough, there are a TON of Hallmark movies about cake and/or cupcakes! There’s…
“Operation Cupcake”, about a woman who like needs to find herself or something- maybe she got dumped or lost her job- and then she has to bake cupcakes and probably doesn’t think she can do it, but then Dean Cain shows her how and melts her cold cold heart, and then everyone loves their cupcakes and love saves the day! (note I haven’t seen this movie, but this is probably the plot).
Also….
“The Sweeter Side of Life”, about a woman who’s probably a big time executive or lawyer who’s too career driven to find true love, then she probably loses everything somehow and needs to move back to her hometown to save the family bakery, butts heads with a local who ends up melting her cold cold heart, thus teaching her the meaning of love, family, and home. (note: this movie hasn’t actually premiered yet, but I’m pretty sure that’s the plot).
Or:
“Taste of Romance”- driven chef, icy heart, blah blah blah- probably fall in love and get great restaurant review, then adopt a puppy and make a snowman in the moonlight.
Or
“Just Desserts”, where Lauren Holly & Costas Mandelor play pastry chefs who try to distract you that once upon a time they were on Picket Fences which was one of the greatest television shows of all time, and now they’re in this crap. (and seriously- why don’t we all talk about Picket Fences more? That show was the center of the universe for a solid 3 years).
Kinda makes you wonder what their next movie will be…..doesn’t it?
(I swear- it’s coming back soon. I promise)
rs
Pecan French Toast: Maple custard soaked cinnamon cake, maple cinnamon buttercream, maple glazed pecans
It’s Wednesday, meaning it’s time to start thinking about your weekend plans. Since fall is upon us and we’re full-on into “food event season”, Matt and I have pretty much made all your weekend plans for you for the next few weeks (we are so considerate!). And this weekends event is not only awesome and insanely delicious, it’s for a VERY good cause.
It’s once again time for The Brooklyn Local benefiting City Harvest! If you didn’t make it last year, it’s another flash artisan market but on steroids- with the best restaurants, food shops and producers (ahem) in and around Brooklyn represented. Think bites from incredible restaurants, booze from the hottest bars, kids activities all day such as face painting and cupcake decorating (ahem ahem), predicted 78 degree partly cloudy weather with a gentle breeze, AND the best view in all of NYC….
Suck on THAT, Hoboken!!!
Even with all the oodles and oodles of sexy, gooey artisinal goodness (and really, who want any part of sexy gooey goodness thats NOT artisinal), and disregarding the fact that this is to benefit City Harvest (one of NYC’s best charities), we worry that some jaded folks out there will be tempted to skip this as it is yet another food market (there’s officially 6,500 this year). So we’re going to do the only thing we can do to change your minds and melt the ice that’s accumulated around your cold icy hearts- we’re going to BRING IT.
What is this “it” we speak of? Well, we don’t know yet. See, Matt and I spend all year collecting interesting ingredients we’ve never played with before and making lists of new things we want to try. Every so often, we take out this “ingredient fun box” if you will, play around and come up with stuff that’s totally amazing but, if you will, slightly unorthodox as baked goods go. Last year we made this guy:
A fresh fig cake with goat cheese buttercream, crisp prosciutto and fig-balsamic gastrique. There was also a kettlecorn cupcake made with New Jersey sweet corn, and a Baklava cupcake made with 10,000 different ingredients. We sold these only at this event, and they haven’t been back since.
This year? We still don’t know yet. What we do know is there’s a LOT of cool stuff in our Ingredient Fun Box, and we won’t know where exactly it’s going to take us til late Friday night. But I absolutely guarantee that if you love sweets AND charity, you’re going to want to be there this Saturday. Buy your tickets now, and we’ll see you there!
Just because we’re getting stoked about Saturday doesn’t mean that today’s flavors aren’t excited. This is the final appearance of the L’Shanah Tovah til next September, AND after a year long absence, CHOCOLATE CHEERWINE has come out of the vault! Heynow!
Clockwise from front: Pecan French Toast, L’Shanah Tovah, Chocolate Cheerwine, Tres Leches
L’Shanah Tovah to all our Jewish friends! We wish you all nothing but the sweetest of new years.
Now to talk about shellfish.
I happen to be a member of a little something called Underground Eats, and you should be, too. They specialize in curating and hosting “alternative dining experiences”- think pop-up restaurants, supper clubs, special tasting menus, offbeat chef collaborations- like lots of the stuff we’ve participated in ourselves over that past 4 years or so. This past weekend they kindly didn’t ask us to work a food event, but rather to actually be guests at a food event. (!!!!!!)
This is a big freaking deal for us! No staying up all night baking, no waking up at dawn to squeeze a giant cooler into the backseat of a 2000 Honda Civic, no serving or putting on a show even though we’re on only 2 hours of sleep. Harris and the rest of the Underground Eats team just told us to come, relax, and stuff ourselves at an authentic New England shrimp boil on Roosevelt Island.
In addition to all the shrimp you can eat- all the beer you can drink. Alas- no one got topless, but there’s always next summer.
I have lived in New York City for all of my 32 years, and have somehow never managed to make it out to Roosevelt Island- even though it’s someplace I’ve always wanted to explore. Within minutes of me tweeting I was there, someone begged me not to let the secret out- and I can see why:
When you can hang out straight on the water on an uncrowded island, watching the ships and clouds amble by, yeah- that’s kinda perfect. It’s like being in a small town right in the middle of the city (except they have a Starbucks).
Right under the bridge we found Pier NYC, where chef David Santos has opened the “Santos Seafood Shack”. Let’s just go straight to the photo:
THAT is what happened. Three hours of Matt and I shoveling palmfuls of shimp, clams and sausage smothered in jalapeno butter into our mouths. We were home and in bed by 7pm.
Right now I’m lying in bed over 24 hours later, and I’m pretty sure I’m secreting small amount of Old Bay through my skin (fortunately, I’m married to a man who finds that sexy). Honestly, I have to hand it to all of you. This has given me a brand new appreciation for all you guys to come to these food things we do not to work, but just to eat. And so many of you are tiny little beautiful things who flock to us in sundresses, stuff yourselves with pounds of amazing food, and DON’T pass out on the sidewalk! You guys are freaking amazing!
AND since you guys are so amazing, I just know you’ll be all over the shops today hunting down our once-a-year L’Shanah Tovah cupcake. Super delicious, super popular- we’ll be keeping it out through the week before it disappears til September 2013.
Clockwise from front: L’Shanah Tovah, Chocolate Pumpkin Cheesecake, Bea Arthur, Pecan French Toast
It’s the last day of August, and our shop at DeKalb Market is GONE. Donezo. And Matt and I couldn’t be more stoked- sometimes to make great strides forward, you need to take a step back and realign yourself.
Reminder to everyone in Downtown Brooklyn- you can still get all of our stuff at GOLD STREET EATERY, which is three blocks away from our old shop and on the corner of Gold & Myrtle. You still get all the same cupcakes, brownies and whoopie pies, and I have time to pursue other projects without having to worry if the store is out of napkins or things like that. Projects like opening up a new “store within a store” at Gourmet Guild this weekend. Projects like putting our hot cocoa in bags to make sure that all of you have the most delicious way ever to stay toasty this winter. Projects like finishing writing this book and making sure that it’s so amazing that I win the Nobel Prize for “Keeping it Real”. Because yeah, this book is so real, you might need all new underwear after reading it. Especially the section where I talk about different types of butter- that part is pretty hardcore.
Of course this exists on the internet. Of course it does.
Anyway, another project I’m thinking about taking up is our Facebook Page. I’ve never really done anything with it because, to be honest, in my personal life I HATE interacting with businesses over Facebook. As a 32 years old workaholic and mother of two, Facebook is the only place I can reasonably catch up with my friends across the world and tune out of my life a bit- I don’t need Walgreen’s showing up bombarding me with messages about how Listerine is a dollar off if I “like” them. This is why, to this date, FB’s main purpose has been posting the days flavors at the shop, and reposting the days Tumblr. Not too exciting.
Now with the shop closed, it has no purpose, and I feel like it SHOULD. Truth is, I’m not sure what it is yet. Right now our social media profile sort of looks like this:
Tumblr: We’ve built an amazing community for my writing right here on Tumblr with over 27,500 subscribers and 50k+ direct visitors. Also, this is how my mom keeps up with what’s going on in my life.
Twitter: sort of like the this blog but only in real time. 15% business, 80% “other”, 5% “REALLY other”. Also a great place to interact with me personally if you have questions about anything, need information you can’t find on this website, or follow along with my lifelong quest to eventually hold a koala, even though one of our followers kindly pointed out that they’re apparently rife with chlamydia. Twitter’s also good for killing dreams, in case you didn’t know.
Also, I’m totally ok with getting an STD from a koala, because AWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
Instagram is where I post pictures of things that inspire me in my daily life, my adventures around NYC and beyond, and occasional food porn (even though I hate that term).
I don’t go anywhere near Pinterest as it reminds me of World of Warcraft, but instead of severely addictive role playing and strategy games, it’s 5 billion pictures of shoes and Marilyn Monroe quotes. You try to hack your way through all that crap for the sake of “business”, next thing you know it’s six days later and you’ve got hundreds of pictures picked out for your dream wedding, forgetting that you’re already married and your husband has been in the room the whole time begging you to just get up and take a shower because you’re totally grossing him out. I’m not wading back in there without a chaperone.
As you see, running our social media already takes up a ton of my time, and I’m covering a lot of bases already. This brings me back to my initial point: Facebook. Since I’ve already made the decisions and taken the reins on all my other platforms, why don’t YOU tell me what you want to see on Facebook? Want me to keep it all about the business? Post more news from behind the scenes here? Moderate discussions that will bring all you sexy people together? Want me to just stay the hell out of it as a whole? You’re giving me the privilege of putting content in YOUR timeline- I want to respect it.
Also know that if you don’t put in your two cents, there’s a good chance I’m going to just keep posting stuff like this. And probably about the brownies and cupcakes too, since that’s sort of our job and all. Plus we’re, like, REALLY good at baking, so it would be pretty stupid not to be talking about that.
Clockwise from front: Chocolate Graham, Pecan French Toast, Tres Leches, Key Lime Cheesecake
Chocolate Graham: Chocolate cake, graham cracker buttercream, chocolate ganache, graham cracker crumbs
Pecan French Toast: Maple custard soaked cinnamon cake, maple cinnamon buttercream, maple glazed pecans
Tres Leches: Three milk soaked brown butter cake, dulce de leche buttercream, caramel shards
Key Lime Cheesecake: Graham cracker cake, key lime curd, key lime cheesecake buttercream, graham crumbs, lime zest (pssst- last appearance this year!)
It’s Wednesday, meaning that exactly one week from today, I’ll be standing with my oldest son in PS 748 at his kindergarten orientation, preparing him for his first real day of school. As you can possibly expect, next Wednesdays post is going to be damn near incomprehensible, as I just smash my palms on the keyboard through my tears. I’ve never been an emotional type in my life, but once my kids were born, I turn into an embarrassing, unmitigated disaster of a human being whenever any life event happens to them. Last month, Toby me that when he grows up, he wants to be “a daddy, so I can be just like MY daddy!”. Then he wanted to know why I had pinned him to the floor, squeezing him til he couldn’t move, all the while singing “You Are My Sunshine” through my tears.
Point is- kids make you nuts. And if you were already nuts like I am, you become a whole new type of special which I’m certain is an abject delight to anyone who will be crossing your path in matters regarding your children. Which is why next Wednesday, I am sending cupcakes to the offices of PS 748 for the ENTIRE staff to apologize thank them in advance for all their hard work.
If this sounds like something you can relate to, why not send cupcakes to your school’s staff, too? We all remember our kids teachers, but what about the janitors, security guards, cafeteria workers and all the office support staff- they should be reminded about how much we appreciate all the help they give us, too! And since we know all too well how all of you just spent a small fortune on new uniforms and school supplies, we’re offering bulk discounts on all back-to-school orders- AND if you’re sending on behalf of the PTA, you get a tax exemption on top of that. Call some of the other families, each of you throw in a few bucks, and suck up to your kids principal let your school know that you’re looking forward to a “sweet” year together! (see how I turned that around there? Nice, right?)
We’re making deliveries next Wednesday to offices and teachers lounges around Brooklyn and Manhattan, as it’s the day before the kids show up and we figured everyone would like it more if they could enjoy their cupcakes in peace. BUT if you’d like to send cupcakes or brownies on a different day, just shoot us an email and we can plan something nice for you. Who wouldn’t want to be surprised with a cupcake party at work? Maybe people who work in a place where there’s a lot of ants. That’s really sad, because those people have it rough, and they’re the kind people who need cupcake love the MOST.
In the event you’re not 110% on ordering yet, maybe you need to go out and pick up one of these babies, and be reminded as to WHY anyone who gets the gift of Robicelli’s cupcakes will love you forever. And no, for the last time, they’re not laced with trace amounts of crack cocaine. I don’t know why people keep asking me that.
Clockwise from front: Key Lime Cheesecake, Lemon Blueberry Ricotta, Kahlua Banana, Pecan French Toast
Key Lime Cheesecake: Graham cracker cake, key lime curd, key lime cheesecake buttercream, graham crumbs, lime zest
I wanted to write a really awesome post today (I actually had a real topic an everything!), but I am having a very bad Mommy day.
For those of you who don’t have kids, I’ll explain. I am not a monster. I love my kids more than just about any mother ever has. But there are some days where they will just not shut the f*** up and I want to sell them to the circus.
It started with them earlier this evening deciding that they were both Pokemon. As Pokemon are wont to do, they smacked the crap out of each other for an hour straight. In case you don’t know this fun fact: Pokemon can’t speak English- the only word they can only say their name. So this has been just about every conversation today:
Note that this is particularly adorable in the cartoons because this is what Sandshrew looks like. Atticus is pretty cute himself, but not cute enough to pull off saying the word “Sandshrew” about 2,500 times in an hour.
Then he passed out. Two glorious hours without that word! However, during that time Toby decided to talk pretty much nonstop about I don’t know what because after about 30 seconds everything he said sounded like the whirling of a drill bit boring itself straight into the center of my brain and I stopped listening.
I don’t even get to count the silencing nap as a win, because it’s now 1am and Atticus is awake, asking when I’m getting off the computer so he can look up “Snuffle” on Bulbapedia, which is, you guessed it, the #1 source for Pokemon information on the internet. They are both in my bed, meaning that I will be spending the night sleeping on the couch.
Why don’t I just move him out of my bed, you ask? Because my children know how to get up in the middle of the night, and in a deep sleep navigate flawlessly from their beds to mine. Mind you, they have set up a virtual minefield of Legos and assorted pointy plastic objects that Matt and I painfully step on every morning, which I swear is more effective in waking one up than coffee. Back to the point, the children will step OVER the Legos, OVER the Angry Birds figures and plastic dinosaurs, find our bed in the dark, climb into it and sleep on top of me like a mattress. Because that’s obviously in the job description: cook, maid, chauffeur, teacher, confidante, mattress.
So no, childless people, just because I am hiding from my children does not make me a monster. Though I will more than likely look like one when I wake up tomorrow.
Back on Wednesday with actual news about the business, baked goods, and whatever else you’d like me to talk about. You’re always welcome to friend us on Facebook and give me suggestions for blog posts. Because it’s hard summoning the magic when it’s 1am and you’re trying to make yourself virtually invisible with a Captain America blanket.
Clockwise from front: Turtle, Pecan French Toast, Butterbeer, Banana Cream Pie
Our Urban Daddy Super Bowl offer was a HUGE success- thank you to everyone who helped us sell out! I got a few emails late today asking if it was possible to get any last minute orders in, but unfortunately we are completely booked for this weekend.
-BUT-
You’ll be able to pick up both the Chicken ‘n’ Waffles AND the Buffalo Chicken cupcakes a la carte at Queen City Cupcakes in Long Island starting today, and at Crespella & Blue Apron Foods in Park Slope on Saturday! As for the rest of our special Super Bowl cupcakes, if you didn’t get in with Urban Daddy, you’re out of luck. Just be forewarned all those spots are getting limited amounts of each, so as always, early bird gets the worm, or fortune favors the prepared, or something like that.
Mentioning selling out on Urban Daddy gives me the perfect segway into Valentine’s Day ordering. I opened up the ordering waaaaay early this year knowing full well no one starts planning for Valentine’s til about five days before, and already we’re one third full.
We’re doing one dozen cupcakes hand delivered with a personalized card for $50, which is a lot more delicious than flowers. Plus, flowers die, and then they become a fire hazard. You know what’s really romantic? SAFETY.
Don’t disappoint your Valentine with impending doom. Order cupcakes before it’s too late.
Now to today’s flavors. We’ve got a new location in there you may have heard of.
Head up to the 5th floor- you can find our cupcakes at Bar 5F!
Clockwise from front: Pecan French Toast, Caramel Macchiato, Banana Cashew, Bailey’s Cheesecake
Matt was on Ink Master on Spike TV last night, and I couldn’t tell any of you to watch because we were under a contractual gag order! GYAH! AND I wanted to post up pics of his tattoo and video clips, but can’t because they haven’t put them on the official site yet! DOUBLE GYAH!
I know for a fact that his episode will be rerun next Tuesday at 9pm, so you guys should catch it. In the event you’re looking for it on your DVR, the name of the episode is….*sigh*…..”Pasties and a Cameltoe”.
I made it two years before I had to write the word “Cameltoe” on this blog. I guess I can be proud of that.
And while screwing around on the internet today instead of working, you should check out Shane O’Neil, the guy who did Matt’s tat and won the challenge with it. He’s ridiculously hot and I’ve got a huge crush on him. Fortunately, Matt’s ok with that because he’s got a crush on Shane, too.
I’ll be updating the blog later today once all the stuff gets posted to Spike TV and I’m 110% positive that we can no longer be sued for talking about the show (we’ve been under gag order for over 5 months about this- and the release instructing us what we were not allowed to say before the show aired was about 10 pages long in 6pt font, meaning I totally didn’t read it).
Here’s pictures of Matt’s tattoo, courtesy of UltraClay!
In the meantime, eat some cupcakes while you wait in eager anticipation!
Clockwise from front: Pecan French Toast, Blueberry Cobbler, Banana Cashew, The Hinsch
Pecan French Toast: Maple custard soaked cinnamon cake, maple-cinnamon buttercream, maple glazed pecan
We can’t go TOTALLY dark today, but I’m not writing anything (this doesn’t count). Click on the pic above to be taken to the online petition to stop SOPA. If you don’t know anything about it, scroll through this infographic I pilfered from their site:
Back on Friday!
Clockwise from front: Pecan French Toast, S’Mores, Ebinger, Dom DeLuise
Pecan French Toast: Maple custard soaked cinnamon cake, maple cinnamon buttercream, maple glazed pecans
Ok, remember how I was a total jerk on Friday saying I had news that I couldn’t tell you? Well I can finally start telling you a bit of it……….
Image courtesy of Free Food Boston
…..BROWNIES! You know- the ones that we kept selling out of like crazy at DeKalb and Madison Square Eats and Union Square…..as of this very second, we’re finally wholesaling them! (We hired more people to keep up with demand) WOOT WOOT!
If you haven’t had the opportunity to try them yet, you need to get to this. Brownies were one of the top sellers at our original store before we closed it to go wholesale over 2 years ago, and were the #1 most requested item from all our original fans. As you might have noticed, Matt and I are perfectionists when it comes to what we do, and we have no desire to release a product unless we can consider it as one of the absolute best that we have ever tasted (and trust me, we’ve tasted a LOT of brownies. For, um, research. Yeah….that’s it….research). So until we had enough hands on deck to make sure we could produce these in large enough quantities where the quality would be flawless and none of our other products would suffer- they were left on the back burner. And now, their day has come! Huzzah to that!
What differentiates our brownies from the rest of the pack? Ultra chocolatey Valrhona cocoa, plenty of eggs and butter, and copious amounts of melted chocolate. It’s not cakey, and not exactly fudgy- it’s just wrong, in a very, very right way.
You can find them at current Robicelli’s retail partners Crespella (Park Slope) and Queen City Cupcakes (Patchogue Long Island), and our NEW LOCATION:
Oaxaca Tacos! With three locations in Brooklyn, and one on Extra Place in Manhattan (you know, that alley behind CB’s. And YES, it will always be CB’s, and I will acknowledge it as the John Varvartous whatever store over my cold dead body). You can get our “Fany” brownie on their dessert menu: rich chocolate swirled with cinnamon and cajeta from Fat Toad Farms in Vermont. And if you’re curious about the name, it’s names for one of my best friends and the grand dame of Mexican pastry- Fany Gerson. And if someone I admire as much as Fany loves them, I know they’re good!
We’re going to start pounding the pavement and trying to bring these brownies to more shops around NYC soon- if there’s a place near you that you’d like us to hit, let us know! And I am swearing in front of you all at this very moment- these brownies WILL SHIP IN 2012. Super-duper-ultra-infinity promise.
Even though we’re letting brownies finally have their moment in the sun after playing third fiddle to our other products, there are still cupcakes that are going to stores and need to be eaten to fulfill their cupcakey destiny. Back from the vault today- The McFadden! Lemony delicious with just a splash of Pimm’s- this one’s a huge cult classic, and worth searching out.
Clockwise from front: S’Mores, McFadden, Hazelnut Kiss, Pecan French Toast
Today I’m not going to hound you to preorder Thanksgiving cupcakes. No, today I’m going to hound you about why you should sign up for Samplrs!
What is this “Samplrs”, you ask? It’s actually an idea so smart, I’m really shocked that no one has thought of it before. Like how when I saw the Snuggie I was all like “I have been complaining about the lack of armholes on my blanket for YEARS!”, or when I saw the Big Top Cupcake and I was like “DAMNIT! I just thought that big cupcakes were called ‘Cakes’, and I was apparently so wrong! We could be making a freaking FORTUNE! I AM SO STUPID!”. It’s exactly like that.
You know all these great little food companies that keep popping up on the blogs or in the papers? All the small businesses starting out that don’t have the money or capital for mass distribution? It would be great if you could try them all, but with them all being in select stores, it’s nearly impossible to track them all down.
This is where Samplrs comes in. Once a month for $30, they’ll bring a beautiful reusable tote bag full of assorted goodies TO YOUR HOUSE. Meaning not only do you not have to drag your ass all over town to try this stuff- now you don’t even have to wear pants!
You know those brownies we make that keep selling out faster than we can make them? Well those are going into this months tote bags. And because I asked nicely, they are extending this month’s sign-up deadline through the weekend just for you guys. How sweet is that?
I don’t know what other surprises you’ll be finding in this month’s bag, but based on some of the people their owner told me he was speaking to, I’m almost positive it’ll be insanely delicious. And let’s not forget the whole “not having to wear pants” thing. That really sort of sells me on just about anything.
Today, however, I think you should put on pants, and go out to try these yummy cupcakes, especially this insanely delicious new flavor that won’t make it back until January. It’s also the last appearance of the Brown Sugar Pumpkin this year, so go git!
Clockwise from front: Brown Sugar Pumpkin, Chocolate Graham, Pecan French Toast, Abuelita
NEW! Chocolate Graham: Chocolate cake, graham cracker buttercream, chocolate fudge, graham cracker crumbs
Brown Sugar Pumpkin: Brown sugar cake, pumpkin chocolate buttercream, ganache
Pecan French Toast: Maple custard soaked cinnamon cake, maple cinnamon buttercream, maple glazed pecans
Well, Halloween has come and gone. But before I start bugging you all incessantly about placing your Thanksgiving orders as soon as possible, I need to be that parent who tells you about what happened to their kids on Halloween, because I’m still shaking my head over this one.
After school let out, we went to the Halloween party at the Museum of Natural History- totally awesome, probably the best thing ever. But this isn’t about that. Nor is it about the part where Atticus decided to do some “fancy walking” on Central Park West and charged smack into Lewis Black, who was actually so cheerful I didn’t even recognize him til Matt pointed out that our son had come within 3” of headbutting him square in the crotch.
This is about how after the party was over and we had taken the long subway ride home, we went to the Starbucks around the corner from our place, aka my office/second home. As I order my drink, our little boys give the baristas their best “Trick or Treat” and hold out their bags, and both receive THIS:
An unsharpened number two pencil! Not a special Starbucks branded one, not a green one- AN UNSHARPENED STAPLES BRAND PENCIL FROM A SACK OF PENCILS. And because we’re regulars, MY kids get hooked up with TWO pencils a piece. That Starbucks Rewards Gold Card Status paid off yet again!
I made a crack about how we should have gotten there earlier before they had to resort to giving out office supplies, and that’s when the baristas told me that the decision to give out pencils was from corporate.
Listen, I can understand not wanting to give out candy. But pencils? I thought for a minute maybe it’s just a way to dissuade kids from ever trying to trick-or-treat at a Starbucks again, but everyone knows that if you want to do that, you hand out raisins. As bizarre as it was, I was highly amused, and happy that it made the toothbrushes and pretzels they got look AMAZING in comparison.
Now here’s where it gets hilarious.
We go home, take off our costumes, and the kids go straight for their trick or treat bags. Is the first thing they take out the Oreos, or the chocolate? No- it’s the freaking pencils. Toby starts trying to draw a picture with his, but nothing- it’s unsharpened. He turns to me and asks for help, but there’s nothing I can do as we don’t own a pencil sharpener. I mean really, it’s 2011- who has a pencil sharpener lying around besides my parents?
So despite the fact that they went to a Halloween party, got to trick-or-treat in the dinosaur museum, got to see a show from the Big Apple Circus, got to ride the subway, got to almost hit Lewis Black in the nuts, got to share custard from Shake Shack, got a giant sack of candy AND had pretty much the best Halloween two kids could possibly have, my kids ended the night hysterically crying in disappointment because of those damn unsharpened pencils.
Fortunately the next morning, they brought back the Gingerbread Latte so all is temporarily forgiven. Besides, it was better than getting a rock.
Clockwise from front: Brown Sugar Pumpkin, Liddabit, Twicks, Pecan French Toast
Brown Sugar Pumpkin: Brown sugar cake, chocolate pumpkin buttercream, ganache
Thursday night, I wrote the Tumblr in bed wearing my Pajama Jeans. Then Matt came home and saw them, and promptly started ripping into me. Let’s take a look at his tweets in succession, shall we?
@MattRobicelliWell the honey moon is over, I thought I married a rough and tough city girl but she proves me wrong with the pajama jeans@robicellis
@MattRobicelliAll she need now is some blacked out teeth, some chaw and the theme to green acres playing the back. Well goodnight Ma@robicellis
@MattRobicelliHey @robicellisjust bought pajama jeans, I’m ok with that cause I just invented pajama thongs. They look like real thongs but their pajamas
So now these are no longer just “Pajama Jeans”. Oh no no no…..these are spite pants. I promised him the next day that I was wearing them to Madison Square Eats, and he just rolled over and went to sleep. The next morning I was pulling them on, and this is how that went:
Matt: You’re not actually wearing those outside, are you?
Allison: Oh hell yeah I am.
Matt: I thought that you were just going to wear them when you go to Starbucks to work on the book?
Allison: What about your basketball shorts?
Matt: What about them?
Allison: I have never once, in over six years together, ever seen you play basketball. NOT ONCE.
Matt: But they’re comfortable!
Allison: GO PLAY SOME BASKETBALL!!!!
Matt: TAKE OFF THOSE PANTS!
Allison: NO!
Matt: FINE! GO OUT AND MAKE AN ASS OF YOURSELF!
I wore them to Madison Square Eats, and aside from the people who actually read the blog who knew to look for them, no one noticed they weren’t real jeans. Yes, the infernal pink drawstring kept popping out (you know how I llooovvveee pink), and yes the dye bleeds like hell, so every time I touched my pants I blue myself, but the point is I took a stand for something, and it feels pretty good. I may not ever relegate them to Starbucks only duty- I may go on embarrassing my husband and children with them full time, or at least til the basketball shorts disappear.
Then today, while I was suffering the indignity of wearing real pants, I saw this tweet:
See, now this……this is too far, America. Too, too, too damn far.
However, now you people are under the impression that I’m a lazy sack of crap, rather than someone who draws the line at wearing boxed pants from Walgreen’s out of spite. Even though I didn’t think that my life had spiraled down so low to the point where people would expect to see me in a hot pink fleece jumpsuit, or to ever have the urge to go tailgating in such a jumpsuit, or really just to have the urge to tailgate at all……..well the point is, I’m a woman of the people, and I have to give the people what they want.
IF, by Wednesday, October 19th, we have 2,000 followers on Twitter (260 to go) and 1,000 “Likes” on Facebook (251 to go), I WILL PURCHASE A FOREVER LAZY AND WEAR IT FOR THE FINAL DAYS OF MADISON SQUARE EATS.
I am more than willing to make an ass of myself for you guys, but you need to pitch in a bit, too. You want to experience THIS kind of extreme sexiness? You need to help us spread the word and let people know they need to be following us.
PS- see that black line on the side of the girls leg, by her tushie? That’s a zipper, so one can do, erm, their “business”. These people thought of everything.
Today I shall spend the morning at Madison in real clothes and proper pants, so you should come and visit me while I still have a shred of dignity in tact. I will also have these cupcakes with me, in case you need more motivation:
Clockwise from front: Apple Peanut Butter, Pumpkin Caramel, The CPB, Pecan French Toast
Apple Peanut Butter: Apple cake, peanut butter buttercream, homemade peanut brittle
rs
